Of a Writer’s Mind: Antipoles

for Lambros

Discovered this via Brewed at 5 am – it was so unsettling, that it compelled me to write something about it.

What most do not realize that no pull is greater than the urge to pen words on to a paper; for inspiration is a fickle thing. It comes at the most unfortunate time and sly that it is, if not penned down at that particular moment, it disappears and never comes back.

I have built empires and destroyed them in my mind; landscapes, buildings, nations, creatures, and what not has taken form in my mind and has then crumbled with time. This is how terrifying it is, so utterly scary that what you create is so simple, so easy to shatter. And even whence that particular figment of imagination has scampered away, it leaves behind a vestigial feeling of regret, that you failed to grasp the idea and put it into words. Not much is more haunting than the ghost of an old idea – always there to pester but never perceptible enough for you to get rid of it.

However, the vice versa is no less difficult. You pen down the words; but it doesn’t end there. You nitpick, you edit, you erase, you strike down. And even when it is out for the world to read, rather than triumph, dissatisfaction plagues you. For, being a writer means that you are never really satisfied with your work. There is always a better word out there that you could have used, some phrase that would have been more apt. And this rattling feeling of something just not being right always stays with you.

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17 thoughts on “Of a Writer’s Mind: Antipoles

  1. Hira says:

    Thats why you should give writing more time :p so there is less dissatisfaction and more happy readers :p

  2. Pirbhat Shams says:

    How simply you gave words to years-old regrets! (Y)

  3. M Shumail says:

    when heart fills-up with deep thoughts, then pen marks it’s beauty.

  4. Haris says:

    You words are so true to the feelings :’] this is exactly what I go through! Props to you for compelling the emotions out with such accuracy.

  5. M. Hassan says:

    I LOVED this. I’ve been a victim of that phenomenon one times too many.

  6. Khanum says:

    Beautiful piece, so true words that now I want to murder you for it.
    It’s another mental urge in the writers, I believe They can’t truly sometimes stand some other writer, coming up with something so damn beautiful and haunting. However, It’s not jealousy. It’s obsession with words. “Mine,mine,mine”

  7. Lala Rukh says:

    Wonderful piece revealing the true feelings, regrets in the form of words.

  8. Aah and I thought I was the only one. Love every word! πŸ™‚

  9. Parasitamol says:

    It always unsettled me how the inspiration faded away if the moment passed. And then I had to wait for centuries for some spark to ignite again. Always made me frustrated and disappointed in my own self. But I guess I’m not alone. πŸ™‚

  10. Khanum says:

    You don’t write anymore … ?

  11. Sofia says:

    This is so apt. Haven’t read something in a long while which I can relate to completely. Brilliant post.

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