Happiness is not a destination, it is a mood.
Heard this on One Tree Hill and it has not left my mind since.
The better part of this year, I have wished (to be exact: desperately wished) to become happy. Hoping for something unexpected to happen that would make me feel that rush of adrenaline associated with unfettered happiness.
In the grips of this hope, I became moody, irritable, sullen, withdrawn, susceptible to instant mood swings. It’s ironic that wishing for happiness actually made me more unhappy than ever. Ungrateful, some would scoff at me (they must have). I had a great family, great friends, everything I needed, a career I knew I would succeed in – yet I felt lost, astray. All I knew was that I wanted to be happy – and it became my goal.
Moreover, this desire for happiness brought with it the gnawing sense of guilt. How could I be unhappy when God has granted so much to me already? Why do I have to be so ungrateful?
But now I realize the absurdity of my wish. Happiness is just a mood, like hunger. It comes and goes. It is never meant to be a destination. And that, it is okay for me to be miserable once in a while – all that matters is whether I bounce back or not.
A wonderful, conspiratorial conversation with a good friend; a particularly juicy pomegranate staining your mouth; the satisfying sound of your fingers hitting the keys whilst typing your epiphany; a cathartic walk with your favorite music blaring in your ears – these are my happiness and I intend to cherish them as much as I can.
Whether I stay true to this intent, is another story for another day.