I’m back. Yes, with another sizzling article, filled with a delightful cornucopia of more “snoops” and scandals, destined to make your stomachs rumble with pleasure. Being a writer, it’s only natural that I exaggerate the merits of my report – yet, I can guarantee you that the following write-up contains such information about a particular person, which is known only to a few people.
The person under question is no other than, Mohsin Hameed, one of the Nature’s weirdest specimens. Weird as in, that he himself invited us to peep into his life and expose his if not darkest, the oddest incidents of his life – I still remember him saying – “I wonder what you’ll write for me.”
Well, you don’t have to wonder much longer. With Mr. Animus, our resident expert on scandals let the curtains open and the truth be revealed:
A Perfect Maid –
How often do we see our mothers complaining when the maids fail to turn up? Very often. But in the household of Mohsin Hameed no such complaints are made. “A Perfect Maid”, Mohsin Hameed is not only an expert at cooking food but he is also known for washing dishes, cleaning rooms, laundering the clothes. But he has one more skill which would delight the ladies. YES, Ladies, Mohsin Hameed has also remarkable hairdressing abilities. Not for you, of course, gentlemen. A source has revealed that Mohsin admiringly braids the hair of the ladies, knotting and plaiting them beautifully. And, he does that on regular basis.
When I queried Mr. Animus about this revelation, he commented,
” Frankly these things aren’t surprising, if you bother to connect them. Now it isn’t rocket science, but again I’m pointing no fingers, just saying that it’s a way of life which the Canadian Government has already accepted.”
I naively asked,” What kind of life style you’re talking about?”
Mr. Animus replied with a smile,” Only Canadian Government has accepted gay marriages.”
Oh. I understood then. Following snoops supplemented my understanding.
The “Bazaar Wali” or the “Bazaar Wala”? –
Curious heading, isn’t it? The source who divulged this snoop came out rather easily; no wheedling was required. All we had to ask the question and information popped out. It said rather smugly,
“Since he goes to market so much, I tease him by saying that he has a girl there that he goes to meet there, and he ACCEPTS it. Hence, he has a “bazaar wali”!” –
Now this is some startling dirt.
At this, Mr. Animus says,” The possibility of a bazaar girl is very high as he has flirted with every girl he has met. But as the famous proverb states things are often not as they appear. So I wouldn’t rule out the possibility of a “bazaar wala”. In fact, I consider it a very plausible possibility.”
Interesting comment, no? There is more to come, people.
The Cat of Confused Gender –
Brace yourselves, ladies and gentlemen, for this snoop – it even surprised our thick-skinned Mr. Animus. YES, upon much wheedling a source revealed something that has astonished us greatly – he says revealingly,
” Mohsin once had a cat whom he thought to be male, until HE gave birth to kittens.”
Wide-eyed, we questioned the source again, not believing this absurdity. But the source repeated what it had said earlier with more fervor and we had to believe it.
Upon much reflection, we came to the conclusion that a person, who is confused about the gender of a cat, with very much probability can be confused about his own gender as well. Who knows that the Mohsin we know is not a he or even a she, but something in between? Who knows that the Mohsin we know is actually Mohsina?
Mr. Animus comments rather wryly,” Well, it could be so. Just imagine Mohsin or in this case Mohsina, not that hard to imagine as some might believe, for he is an ace in the kitchen and has the natural girl “I’m always right” personality to match.”
So is Mohsin in truth hiding his true identity? His confusion about his own gender, his impressive maid-like characteristics, his admirable hair-dressing abilities and his keeping a bazaar wala – all these things I’m sure would leave no doubts in your mind about the true identity of Mohsin Hameed.