Monthly Archives: November 2009

PEOPLE CALLED ME A MISER, WHEN I HAD NO MONEY- A STORY OF MY LIFE

PEOPLE CALLED ME A MISER, WHEN I HAD NO MONEY- A STORY OF MY LIFE:

BY: YUSRA SHAFQAT

Man is never content with whatever he is blessed with, he always desires for more. I am like every other human but whenever I wish for more, my past flashes in front of me and I thank Allah for everything I am blessed with.

My dad owned a shop. We led a very happy life and were financially sound. But then everything changed, when our shop burnt down in an accident. My dad started a new job but we were in a financial crisis for many years. Those were the years that groomed me into what I am today.

Nowadays when I go shopping for clothes, I fancy buying the entire shop and buy as much clothes I want, forgetting that there was a time when I used to wear cardigans all day long just because we couldn’t afford buying full sleeves uniforms for winters separately.  And my classmates called me a MISER.

Nowadays I ask for a fancy lecture copy forgetting that once there was a time when I couldn’t buy art papers and colors and used to borrow them from my friends. And my friends used to call me a MISER.

Nowadays I need a mobile card every other day forgetting that there was a time when I never called anyone to save some money. And everyone called me a MISER.

Nowadays I want a different dress for every occasion forgetting that once there was a time when I wore same shirt for four Eids consecutively. And my cousins called me a MISER.

Nowadays I demand for a servant for all the chores forgetting that once there was a time when I used to wash dishes because we had no spare money for the maids. And my relatives called me a MISER.

Nowadays I crave for more and more daily money for my expenses and spend it extravagantly on my best friends forgetting the time when I only got 10 Rs and could only buy a Pepsi from it. And my best friends still call me a MISER.

MISER… MISER… MISER… That’s what I used to hear then and now too. Nothing has changed much, the only difference is, in those times I had no money and nowadays I have money but I save it rather than spending it. It is said that a person learns from his past. And I have learnt two things, firstly no matter how many storms and gales strike our lives, we will always remain a happy family. Money or not we will always stick to one another. Secondly if I tackle my present cautiously and thank Allah for His blessings, I’ll have a harmonious and blissful future.

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This is one of my sister’s pen-downs. I found it very touching so thought to share it here.

Life and Lies of an Akhrot [WALNUT]

Life and Lies of an Akhrot [WALNUT]

By Anas Shafqat and Mr. Animus

Salman Latif – a composed, reserved individual, a renowned debater, a
brilliant writer – that is, what most of us know about this unusual
person. However, in this report, I shall unveil some startling truths
and this pooled with the candid analysis of Mr. Animus, our resident
expert on scandals, we heretofore embark on a journey to understand
that “all that glitters is not gold.”

Walking tightly on the line that separates diplomacy from hypocrisy,
Salman Latif has always acted poised and unruffled in even the most
trying situations – but is he really as composed as he pretends to be?
Does behind that posture of a serene peacock, in truth, a chicken
restlessly clucks? Upon investigating, a very reliable source divulged
that Salman Latif can ALSO be chickenly.  He says that once when
Salman had come to Lahore for some debate, I went up there to meet
him. There I wanted to use internet [for the general benefit of the
public, this guy is a major net-a-holic] and so we went to the
computer lab. We were happily using the net, when suddenly the lab
attendant pounced on us and demanded to see our student I.Ds.
Supposedly only students with I.Ds were allowed, and since I didn’t
have one, the lab attendant started threatening Salman that he would
complain to the authorities and have his entire team disqualified
because he had broken the rules. And, readers here comes the juicy
part, that IS, our very own unruffled, composed Salman Latif begged
the lab attendant for ONE HOUR to not rat on them! The rumors say that
Salman practically even grabbed the lab attendant’s feet! I asked Mr.
Animus as to what he thinks about it, he replies with another
question, “I think that he had a natural reaction towards it, you know
“begging” or have you not wondered how he always is on good terms with
girls?”
Indeed, what Mr. Animus suggests makes a lot of sense.
However, this is a very mild scoop, compared to the crème ala crème
which is going to be served in the next few lines.

Salman Latif has always been taken to be as a straight-laced, shareef
bacha. However, all that looks shareef IS not always shareef. So in
order to prove the following statement, I set upon sniffing for a
scoop. And I DID find one. Yes, a source [upon taking some money]
revealed that, our very own Salman Latif used to jump over the gate of
his house at 3 A.M to get net cards! This sounded a bit strange to me
that, why would someone be so desperate to get online? When I
discussed this issue with Mr. Animus, he replied, “UH must be some
girl!”
I had already suspected it to be so, and the statement of Mr.
Animus added weight to my suspicions.  Another statement of our bribed
source intrigued and surprised me pretty much, which was, “Once Salman
told me that he goes to all these debates because cute girls come to
them.”
Yes, people, Salman Latif DOES NOT participate in the debates
to win prizes or to deliver speeches, but to stare at cute girls! This
statement has ascertained us that Salman Latif is NOT at-all
straight-laced, but he is also a GAWKER! I have also heard rumors that
Salman has even become a STALKER now, but having not found any valid
proofs of him being so, I shall not comment on it in this report.

In the course of my investigations, a source upon much wheedling,
disclosed, “He is very obedient.” Upon asking why, the source
returned, “Once we had a fight, I kept calling him so that I could
apologize and we could get back to normal. However, he didn’t receive
and I kept on calling. Almost whole night was spent in doing so and I stopped when the call button of my cell phone stopped functioning. Next
morning, when I asked him, why didn’t he receive my calls? He replied
that you had told me that I mustn’t receive your calls until you tell
me to do so. Then I remembered I indeed had said so and he was just
being obedient.”
Interestingly, in order to spice things up a bit, I
leave the gender of the source hidden and leave it to you people to
decide whether the source was a HE or a SHE! Mr. Animus too had to
voice his opinion, he says rather slyly,” It was so stupid,
pointless and a total drag but the most important and learning part was that it just
goes to show you that they don’t make cells as they used to!”

To summarize this report I asked for the help of Mr. Animus, who whole heartedly agreed and replied with the following golden words, “Salman Latif is one of a kind. Knowing the fact that he is cute he participates in all the events he can except for studying and if I remember my probability lessons correctly, the probability of him coming out victorious is very high… in more than one way. He portrays to be, “the oh so naïve and SHAREEF bacha” though inside he is always laughing at every dirty joke that is being thrown about. So, if you think you have hidden something from him and that you really know the real him to be really SHAREEF and the guy who behaves like an akhrot. That is without a brain.… WELL MY FRIEND, THINK AGAIN!!! He is like a wolf on the prowl. He will cut you up so sweetly that you will be laughing like it tickles.”